this weekend has really been fruitful. for those who say that God does not exist, think again. if you think i am crazy then do not read on.

i've done something wrong again. but immediately after i have done it, you spoke to me and warned me not to do it again or i will suffer your absence and your silence. then saturday you spoke again thru vincent about forgiveness and that i need to change and find my passion. and today, you spoke about remaining in Christ. i know what i need to do already.

when i first went for this lecture on mass media, my teacher pulled out his pair of glasses and told us this analogy: very often when we see the world, we see it through our glasses without remembering that we are wearing our glasses. in this course, we will look at this pair of spectacles and examine it.

and indeed, i have been examining this pair of spectacles the entire semester. guess what? i have been confused ever since. the world is not as we think it is. what we have taken for granted, i am studying it. in sociology, we have this famous term called "debunk". go find out what it means. but anyway, somehow when joel talked about using the automatic bed on his brother, it struck me as this: de-bunk. to throw off the bunk, or bed. yups. disastrous.

my brain is getting fried. someone please offer to bring me out (by that you had better planned something to do ya).

i have intentionally and successfully carried out my plan to murder. target: grace wan. wait. that name sounds so familiar. yups thats me. i have killed myself. when i embarked on this journey, i knew i would sink very soon. but yups i have. still floating i guess, but struggling. makes me feel all the more alive. the closer you are to death, the more you treasure life.