something was wrong with me. but its time to change that. time to concentrate on what is more important and time to leave the pain behind.

so many things to change about myself. will i ever live to see the day that these changes happen? or will i enter my adulthood with so many character flaws? i hope not.

how did i come to love you? how did i come to want to know you more? i guess you took the first step, in drawing me to you, before i realized that this relationship can work. i want to make this two way. to love you and to trust you. to become who you wanted me to be. to make you proud. i am doing everything for you. do not let me forget that. do not let me forget you. i want to live everyday with you on my mind and to constantly come back to you.

what exactly does love mean? how is it different from like? or attraction? or crush? why is it so difficult to differentiate them? why is everyone so into this whole facade? does having a boy friend really take away your loneliness? does having a boyfriend really make you seem more attractive?? sigh. i do not know the answers. i doubt i want to find out either.

let the guy take the first step - was telling my cousin that. but he says that nowadays girls are more likely to take the first step so its too idealistic. is that why guys are so good at hinting now? so good that i hardly think its a hint anymore. go and kill yourself la. either make it clear to the girl or just shove that love of yours down your throat.

the world is so unfair. so so unfair.