The prodigal son...

Can't believe I'm blogging again after so long... Can't believe my laptop has stored my passwords after so long and is still able to log me in.

Had this sense of bewilderment as I read my past posts... from Sept 2005 till now... with my last post being in Nov 2008. It's been so long.. I was so young... I've changed so much.. Aged so much. My reality has changed. and yet... i admire the honesty I had in so many of my old posts... the perspectives then help to shed light on my present. The randomness of the past coming back to help my present.

I need you. I need you now more than ever. I don't want to see, don't want to feel. I want the numbness that comes with overwhelming pain.

I hope no one reads this. No one probably will.. after all these years...

I really am grateful for you. You knew what was coming my way and did all you could to cushion my fall. You really love me and have said yes to everyone else that I've asked for. So I guess this thing that I do not have is really not good for me.. In that case, then take it away for good. I want to trust in Your wisdom and your love.

Faith. The biggest lesson you can ever learn.

In biblical times, the levites and priests were not allowed to work outside. The people were instructed to provide for them and they were allowed to eat from the altars. When the Israelites returned from captivity, they were too caught up in taking care of their own needs that they forgot about God's temple. In the end, the Levites went out to work, and God was very angry.

So, why on earth are some pastors finding work outside now?? has it become a trend to do so? Or does it put the pastor on morally higher ground just cos he does not take $ from the church? When Paul did that, he was trying to prove his point to the Corinthians, and besides, he was receiving help from other churches... So when a pastor goes out and works outside of the church, can he really concentrate on God?

Shall go back to reading my past posts. They are amazingly good for that age. Cool.