rojak emotions. go figure

have you ever been lonely in a crowded room?

when i committed my fears to God i forgot one. the phobia of losing frens. whenever the signs start to show (or at least i think they're signs), i retreat. i'd rather lose a fren than to go thru the pain of trying to salvage the relationship.

wats wrong with me?

in all my services, teach me worship. teach me humility. teach me submission. teach me love. teach me discipline. teach me joy. teach me to be hardworking. teach me to be disciplined. teach me to depend on You. show me ur glory. show me Your work. let me always treasure the Salvation that You gave so freely.

had a wonderful time of worship during the New Heart training today. it was demo time and after 8 demonstrations, we were all very tired of singing.. then this guy with tatoos n shaggy hair went up.. n me being me started to wonder if this guy just escaped from the rehab center.. sorry.. but ya he looked and sounded scary. but thru his leading i have learnt alot. when one is truly in love with God, one does not need to say anything. the love is contagious, the love flows out and the love brings tears to everyone's eyes.

thank you Lord for showing me wat worship is about. Im coming back to the heart of worship, im sorry Lord for the thing i've made it. its all about You. its all about You, Jesus.

im like an onion. i've many layers. after you peel off one layer, you will find another layer and you wonder which layer is the real me? well.. i also dunno. but i think every layer is me. the entire onion is one onion mah.. its not just the bulb or not just the leaves, but the entire thing. so ya.. don't bother wondering which is me cos i also dunno. i have many sides that i have towards different people. not that im a hypocrite.. its just that most people cant handle the entire me. i have the bubbly side, the quiet side, the stoning side, the depressing side, the dependent side, the independent side, the struggling side, the persistent side, the on-the-verge-of-giving-up side. i also lost count. i cant afford to show those i am not close to, the depressing side can i? than everyone will get scared off. i have a feeling its time to hide the depressing side to everyone, close or not.