comforted

wow i dint realise so mani pple read my blog so often.. felt realli touched tt yall actuali read n ask me abt it.. =p well for ur info.. im feeling much better today, still drained basically but no anger n no disappointment.

had a long cry yest n my dad came to talk to me n encouraged me.. cant even remember when was the last time i had such a long cry. felt really good.. i guess my lecturer was right. gals tend to cry more.. at least i do.. crying seems to be a way for me to express my anger, next to blowing my top. anw, i guess all tt crying helped to remove my energy so i haf no more energy to be angry.. had a good sleep after tt, tho now my eyes r swollen n all *hehe*

jus wanted to write this to remind myself of the correct mindset n hopefully this can help those who feel weary n all.. i missed qt a few days liao n yest i decided to get back to reading Ecclesiastes 12:9-14=>The Conclusion of the Matter , and these 2 verses struck me:
13 Now all has been heard; here is the conclusion of the matter: Fear God and keep his commandments, for this is the whole duty of man.
14 For God will bring every deed into judgment, including every hidden thing, whether it is good or evil.

my job in this whole situation was not to make sure things work, but to make sure i am able to answer to God in tt i did my best out of respect n love for Him. whether or not i am bullied or whether or not it is fair, tts nt the point anymore. as long as i can say to God tt: Lord, i did my best n i trust u to take care of the rest. i should nt take the burden upon myself n get all upset. as long as i fear the Lord n keep his commandments, i m fine. wat others r doing tt r unfair n self serving, they have to answer to God. if its God's will that we get more work, so be it. i shall take it as a training n find joy in every extra job God gives to me. i need to always remember tt GOd is watching me with His loving eyes n He knows when i m going to be crushed. jus like when elijah was tired n he ran away from queen jezebel, God sent angels to take care of him. God knew elijah was tired n God took care of him, giving him comfort n renewed strength. when man cannot look left or look right because nothing works, we have to look up: where God is, n trust in Him.

Im sorry, Lord, for forcing u to use such desperate measures to stop me from looking at myself. but thank you for correcting me, tho u could just left me alone. teach me to always look to u and to bear in mind tt my goal is not on this earth, but in You. teach me to rest in you n always be joyful cos u r here to take care of everything, im not alone.