i have a feeling this is going to be a long post. longer than usual at least.

what do you do when you think God made the wrong choice for you. on one hand you know God will never make mistakes. on the other, you just have this stinking feeling something is wrong. i just hope this turns out well.

funny how your relationship with God can affect every other areas in your life. i had this barrier obstructing me from coming to God. suddenly i started to hate everyone around me. full of bitterness. full of hate. could do nothing right. everything just seemed to overwhelm me. the future was hopeless and bleak.

i can see clearly now, the rain is gone. the rainbow, the sun. the smell of the flowers and the soil. breathe in deep cos you will need the oxygen to run the marathon now. hope is so so precious.

the joy of the Lord is my strength.

i hate long nails. dont know how some girls do it. the mini skirts, low cut tops, hip hugging bottoms, long nails, long hair that tickles the face etc. the things we girls do to look good. all that suffering. tsk tsk. do guys do the same? the time spent in front of the mirror fixing that short hair, the headache that comes when choosing clothes from that forever limited collection etc.

i've been spending alot of money recently. just cant get over the joy of getting something new with the money i worked so hard to earn. not that tuition is THAT hard, but its still nice. i need to stop!!! especially since its one of my new year resolution.

i need something. something intangible. something that is not limited by time and space. something that can lift my spirits.

this is a special year for me. i am finally living the transition period for myself. i am neither a teenager, nor an adult. so what am i? i am a 20 year old kid-teenager-youth-young adult. i really DO NOT feel like 20. i see people who dress and act 20 and i feel like a kid in their presence. i met this girl in a shop. i acted like this 12 year old kid in her presence cos my impression of her is that she's 20+. end up, she's under 20. i am older than her!!! and i thought i was younger!! oh my goodness. i guess i really am i kid. what am i going to do? i need to grow up! can you imagine this 21 year old girl who talks and acts and dress underage? sigh

love: tangible or intangible. never really thought of it until fiona and i talked about it. what do you think? always thought love was intangible. but if it really was, how do we know what love is until someone expresses it? that expression is tangible. hmm.