what exactly is driving me? one day i really need to sit down with God and ask Him to sound me out. what i think is true may not be true after all, since i hardly know myself with my ego blinding my vision.

when i read about people who give up their lives for the Lord and about people who go thru all kinds of suffering and pain just to get to Christ, i cant help but ask myself will i be willing to do the same? why is Christ so unimportant to me? it is so easy to lie to myself that Christ matters. maybe He does, but the fact is that there are still things that matter more than Him, and He takes His time to reveal that to me.

How much more do i need to give up for You? EVERYTHING