feeling very drained today. like my entire life is gone.. there is no meaning to doing anything anymore.

was sharing with pastor richard tt day.. per month: i onli haf 1 sat left, 2 fri nites left, no sundays left. tuition is mon n wed so technically i onli haf tue, thu nites left, since all mornings n afternoons r spent in school. sigh. then now i've to spend time talking on the fone with the gals to encourage them n catch up with them. -tears- dunno how long i can last. i haf to call 3 pple per week n 2 hours each. i haf tons of readings to catch up with n 4 projects tt r super difficult n i haf not even started.

i haf failed miserably in all aspects. my studies r getting worse, i haf lost contact with so many frens i dun bother to count anymore, my church service is none existent, my family needs me but i cant give them anymore time cos i alreadi haf none left myself.. except those i use for sleeping n i jus realised i dunno wats going on in my gals lives. sigh wat m i supposed to do? for jus one week i study in church while the gals r playing games.. n i screw up cos some of them end up feeling lonely. so many demands, so many expectations, so many responsibilities.

im realli tired. bogged down, emotionally depleted. pastor richard told me to go find some way to relax. how? i dun haf frens i can talk seriously to, cos all r sooo busy, i dun haf activities tt i enjoy n can do to emotionally recharge myself.. i need help. i noe tt im doing all these for God, to train my trust in Him. but this is horrible. im drowning n i need help.