Thursday, July 29, 2010

The Dilemma...

Don't get me wrong... I am glad to have a job.. to have a job that does not have politics.. to have a job with good relationships with colleagues.. Just that sometimes it is hard to deal with the little things that make the work experience hard to bear...

I'm doing this "CCA" at my workplace that has to do with finance. As you know, finance and HR don't go very well together. One puts people first, the other, $. And when you put the 2 together, I end up pissing alot of people off. Why doesn't anyone see that I am not the bad guy here?? I also don't want to chase you for returns. I also don't want to make you cut your budget. But as a middleman, I have to get the 2 parties to compromise. Even if you show me black face or refuse to smile at me along the walkway unless you need my help, there is really nth that I can do to change the situation. The ball is not in my court. I'd love to help, don't get my wrong, and I do tt by helping to bargain. But the decision is not in my hands.

Feels lonely to stand in a room full of people standing in cliques, when you have no one to join. It's a sucky feeling. I am reluctant to intrude into any groups (altho I know I can), cos I worry that they'd think I am intrusive (in the negative sense of the word).

Stop being overly self conscious. Stop thinking that people hate you. It makes you shun others, and then that becomes a self fulfilling prophesy.

So the dilemma lies in the fact that I do like my job, but I also have all these things tt make me upset during work. Who can I turn to? Everyone has their own troubles...

Back to work.