happy birthday to you...

wasnt free yesterday so i shall post with whatever time i have now =)

saturday night, i went to my piggy bank and dug out all my savings to prepare to treat SM and ZJ for their birthday presents. went to bed happy that i can finally treat them and not owe them presents.

Sunday after service, was talking to Amos, and suddenly he tells me that he is coming to my birthday party. so i just stared at him and wondered what gave him the idea i was definitely having a party? i mean, i tot about having one but had not told many pple. but knowing me, i might have said it to him before, so i told him that the party was not confirmed and he kept insisting that he would be coming, so i suspected that NLYM would celebrate for me. but my birthday is in november so i tot it would be the saturday before my birthday.

went to meet SM, kinda pissed to find that so many pple are tagging along. cos i really wanted to treat the 2 guys. too many pple means its harder to treat. but anyway we (a large group of us) walked to United Square for lunch. i was already feeling very hungry. then when we were JUST about to reach United Square, SM happily got an sms "from vincent" requesting that we all go back to church to pray for him. i was so pissed la! why cant vincent cant meet us at united square instead? since there were so many of us there already. so anyway, i was too tired to say anything much. so we walked back. on the way back, i was telling the girls that maybe vincent was worried about wednesday so that's why he called us back.

reached church. went up the lift. door opens and i see jonathan holding a video camera. i frowned a bit but did not question much. walked to the corridoor and wondered why there were so many strangers standing around. then ZJ walks past me out towards the lobby and i got a bit confused. plus, i saw my grandma in the corridoor and i went to say hi to her and asked why she was here. "i am here to participate!" so i thought there was some talk going on which explains the strangers. so i happily walked into the room and suddenly i was like. ok...... how come no one told me we're celebrating ZJ's birthday in church?????

then i saw my parents and i finally got it. hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaah. -frowns-, -drops jaw-, -laugh-. actually i've to admit. it took me quite some time to understand what was going on cos its still so far to my birthday!!!!!!! but ya. i cried AGAIN. really touched by the gesture. so, thanks pple! very very sweet! hehe. it was even nicer to celebrate my 21st together with my good friend, 2 of us celebrate our 21st tog. haha very nice.

so ya, wonderful ZJ decides to blow my candles ON PURPOSE, TWICE! and smashes cake on my face. but darling elliot helped me to smash chocolate on his face. hahaha so thats good enough for me, considering i have shorter hands than him. (oh for those who dunno who ZJ is, he is the other birthday boy). so, imagine 2 birthday kids squabbling over the candles and smashing cake in each other's faces. yups. fun. hahahahhaa

this year, although it is still some time to my birthday, i have already received so many presents! hahahaha and all really practical. in sequence. a bag, a formal top to use when i lead worship, a cute pencil case (the entire thing is made of one zipper!), and a new phone!!!!!! my parents got me a new phone today. hahahaha so nice!!!!

sorry about the long post, but i still have stuff to say. haha. reaching 21 is really strange. i dun wanna be an adult. i dun feel like one. but i am one. i have to start acting like one. no more privileges, no more whining... hahaha i dun wanna grow up!!!!boohoo.

ok shall end here. hopefully i can survive till end of this sem. one more month to exams!!!!

you look so repulsive. everytime i look at you, your face changes. but no matter how many times i look at you and no matter how many different ways you look, you still look ugly. all these years you have chosen to hide your face from me. why do you want to reveal yourself to me? is it because you know that i cant shun away from you? is it because you know that i have to accept you no matter what?

i'm tired.. to say the least. woodbridge, here i come.

i'm starting to discover what is slightly below the ice berg. i am afraid of the future. afraid of the uncertainties, and the certainties. afraid of underperforming. i'm trying to get all i want, but i am unable to. i want to do alot, but cant do them.

i need smth to look forward to everyday. i need someone to support me without asking for anything in return. i need him to be there all the time without me having to worry about adding my burdens onto his. i really need you, Lord.

my sincere apologies to all. i will need to totally cut off from the internet. so this includes facebook, messenger, blog etc. have mercy on me and update me when you see me or thru sms ya?

oh and in case you were wondering, the first paragraph refers to our darling REALITY.

things happen that do not go the way you hope they would. i need the peace to deal with them. thanks Joel C for sending this..

Whatever your cross, whatever your pain, there will always be sunshine, after the rain .... Perhaps you may stumble, perhaps even fall, But God's always ready, To answer your call ... He knows every heartache, sees every tear, A word from His lips, can calm every fear ... Your sorrows may linger, throughout the night, But suddenly vanish, in dawn's early light ... The Savior is waiting, somewhere above, To give you His grace, and send you His love... Whatever your cross, whatever your pain, "God always sends rainbows .... after the rain ... "

To get out of difficulty, one must usually go through it!