frenship

was talking to filoi abt frenships.. i realise i haf problems with trust actuali.. maybe tts the reason why i havent had lasting frenships.. or is it because i hafen had lasting frenships tts why i find it hard to have a long-term hope for frenships?

wateva it is, its depressing to hear pple say: "o im gonna meet my pri sch fren today!" when the most lasting fren i had was from sec sch.. n until now im still hesitant to call someone my best fren.. sigh sometimes i find it hard to commit to frenships cos i dun think it will last and i dun wanna get hurt after all that effort.. i haf to say i tried la.. tried to maintain frenships b4.. but in the end, almost 80% of those frenships ended after sch ended.. sigh.. so does this prove tt im rite?

telling me to love pple is fine i guess.. but im still afraid of getting hurt in the end.. this love doesnt jus refer to bgr tho.. refers to every kind of frenship.. frens, i haf.. but frens tt last, very few.. is it jus cos my expectations r too high??

for those who are still reading this.. thanks for listening to me getting all depressed n all.. haha hope i dint scare anyone off=p

pain

i wonder wat pain is.. is it this nagging feeling that i haf? i tell pple i feel pain but is this pain justified? should i even feel this pain? but so wat if its not justified? how do i get over it? how to let go when its all i feel? i noe God has helped me to grow alot thru this pain but i still wanna stop feeling this.. perhaps its time for some crazy scientist to invent a pain killer for this nagging pain.

learning to grow thru obstacles..

suddenli realise i have too many commitments.. though i haf to say tt i like to do all these tings.. jus tt i duno how to balance yet.. its rewarding but at the same time, its tiring and very trying.. sigh.. realli need God to pull me thru this cos im failing to see the light at the end of the tunnel

sometimes i realli wonder if it is worth it spending my energy like this.. anyhow.. i silentli submitted all my dear sisters to the Lord, praying that one day they will taste and see for themselves that God is reali much better than i can explain..

however, today left me drained and wondering if im alone in all these.. at the end of the day.. i realise one thing: being faced with opposition means tt wat im doing is rite.. tts why the evil one bothers to make me depressed.. so im jus waiting to see GOd's glory out of all these.. yay!! thanks to my darling bee.. haha for encouraging me n helping me to see the positive side of stuff.. thanks my dear..

studies

got back my eng lang paper today.. got 21/30... haha was very happy at first cos i dint think i will get higher than 20.. hmm but after meeting piggy, he had to burst my bubble by telling me he did much better-_- thanks ah.. hmm but nvm.. hopefully i can catch up for finals.. haha

mid terms started liao.. but lazy me still hafen realli started revision.. the tv is a real big distraction.. right in front of my "study table" some more.. sian.. why can i be more hardworking huh? as long as i study i dun mind not doing well loh.. (not too badli can liao) *hehe*..

econs is reali confusing.. asked a stupid qn in tutorial today.. argh!! so pai seh loh.. sigh. wats it with these economists?!?! going into macroecons next mon n until now i still confused abt micro!! wats there to study abt production n decisions?? wats it with monopoly??? -see stars- i realli need help.. must start bugging pple for notes liao.. everything is so confusing..

but im realli grateful to God cos He has helped me to grow alot since uni started. learnt to depend on Him(esp during small group) n learnt to be more independent too.. haha to a certain extent.. hmm thank God for the frens i haf.. pple like filoi who made life much easier.. haha yup hey filoi.. i think ur God's angel for me loh.. always appear at the times when i need company most.. haha very grateful=p

wow

hmmz finalli i haf decided to restart my blog.. guess im jus a lazy person who cant keep up with blogging.. haha so nvm.. lets see how long this can last.. n how mani pple actuali bother to read n comment.. hmm stil trying to figure out why pple like to blog=p